I went to the NAMI meeting on Wednesday, but it turned out to be a disappointment. The drive to the meeting was longer than I thought it would be and I was experiencing anxiety, worrying that the car would break down, etc... I didn't have a problem finding the meeting and there were 8-10 people there, but the president of the meeting started a DVD for us to watch that would take up the entire meeting. It was a documentary I had seen before about depression called Out Of The Shadows (which is weird because I just got a documentary on a woman with schizophrenia called Out Of The Shadow....) I excused myself early leaving my email address and name and town on a piece of paper, in case anyone wanted to get in touch with me. I would have stayed longer, but I didn't want to drive at night time. The president did manage to mention that NAMI was not looking to start a group in my county because it costs too much money. This group has one meeting once a month for an hour and a half at a time, which is not much of a support group, but maybe that will change. I'm back to my initial dilemma: no support group in my town or the surrounding towns.
I've been preoccupied with the kittens this last week. I got them the milk replacer which has a lot more nutrients in it than the cow's cream and they seem to be enjoying it. I've set up a routine. I get up at dawn, when the kittens are waking up and let them run around the bathroom for a while. Then I feed them the milk and some wet food. When they tire out I let them rest on me and then after about an hour of all this, I put them back in the tub. I do this about 4 times a day and then let them rest through the night. They seem to be settling into the routine because they don't complain as much when I put them back in the tub. They know I'll be back in a few hours for more contact. I love the kittens, but I'm somewhat stressed out taking care of them. I need a little time to get used to the routine myself. I'm also worrying that I won't be able to go to the four day music festival in a little over two weeks. My brother relies on going each summer. It's possible that he might be able to get a friend to go with him, but I haven't broached the subject yet with him.
A Recovery Blog
This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.