tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7239140084937897595.post1567578776538700922..comments2023-10-19T10:26:30.108-04:00Comments on Yin and Yang: What Is Ego?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7239140084937897595.post-55487251311167042782012-10-06T09:25:30.333-04:002012-10-06T09:25:30.333-04:00Hi Kate!
My husband's co-worker (a mid thirty...Hi Kate!<br /><br />My husband's co-worker (a mid thirty's single mom) had her seventeen year old son kill himself last weekend. Apparently the boy was popular in school, and my therapist dropped my appointment to work with the grieving students.<br /><br />The mother of course has not yet returned to work. Mike says that the gossip at work has most people blaming the mom, saying she never grew up - still liked to party, thought herself a princess, looked and acted like she was twenty something - in fact she got sent home several times to change because she wore some kind of clothing that was inappropriate to work. Usually revealing her boobs.<br /><br />I'm afraid that I have some lemming in me. One creature goes over the cliff and I somehow am seized by a strange compulsion to follow.<br /><br />So for the first time since I lowered my medication I thought about ending my life. The moment passed, and I regained balance and my will to live pretty quickly. But I told my husband about it when he returned from work.<br /><br />We discussed what had gone on in my head, and he told me that if I should do it, every one at work would assume it was somehow his fault. I said, "but they all know I'm mentally ill - wouldn't they just think I was sick?"<br />and my husband said that no matter, blame would be attached.<br /><br />It's really hard to know what my ego driven destructive need could do to another person I love. My therapist once said that suicide really hurts everyone left behind the most. When I think about it, so many people in my family depend upon me living, its woven into the web of their sanity.<br /><br />I told my husband that everyone must be wondering how the mom is going to change. Will she mature? I don't doubt that she loved her kid. Still has one left. A small one. <br /><br />My therapist is practicing non-attachment. Not certain what that means, but he says the only place where he pretty much fails is with his only daughter.<br /><br />Well enough gossip. Most of my suffering, I will agree with you, is due to the needs of the ego to have recognition and satisfaction and attachment. <br /><br />Have to go paint Adam's hair in a painting I've titled "The Devil Wore Dior".<br /><br />All my love,<br />KarenKaren May Sorensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14436905322393073250noreply@blogger.com