A Recovery Blog

This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Bat In The House


Last night at around 4 AM I woke up to see something flying by my bathroom light. I thought, “Is there a bird in the house?” But then I thought it was more likely to be a bat by the way it was flying. I got up but didn’t turn on any lights and watched this flying creature swoop up and down. I then turned off the ceiling fan, not wanting the bird/bat to get hurt. Then I put the cats in the back room with me and promptly fell asleep. For some reason I just wasn’t ready to try to get the critter out of the house. I slept fitfully worrying in my sleep about what was happening outside my bedroom. The following day I tentatively went out and started looking for signs of the bird or bat, but found nothing, so I let the cats out and got on with my day. I was pretty certain by then that it was a bat because bats are nocturnal. I figured that it found a niche somewhere out of sight and hunkered down for the day. I was pretty sure that I would see it sometime later that night. And right I was. Soon after I turned the lights down the bat came out and began swooping throughout the living room beneath the ceiling fan. So I grabbed the cats and put them away and promptly opened the front door. I watched the bat as it kept flying in a circle hoping it would catch the feel of the cool air coming from the doorway. I sent out a little prayer and out it went.

I’ve only had a bat in the house once before, years before I became actively psychotic. That time I got to see it hang upside down from some curtains. I got it out of the house pretty quickly that time. This time I felt a certain sympathy with the trapped animal knowing it had patiently waited to make its bid towards freedom again. And to free a caged creature is a very good feeling, even if there was a twinge of fear of the bat in it as well. I was glad that the mini ordeal was over and the bat was happily back in its home--the wide open night sky.

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(A couple of days later) I wish I could say that the bat problem is solved, but just last night another bat (or the same bat?) got into the house through my woodstove pipe which has no screen around it on my roof. I think it is still in the house though I tried to give it an out by leaving the front door open, but I didn’t see it go out, so after a while I shut the door and decided to wait until tonight to try again. It’s unnerving though waiting for the bat to wake up and start flying around. If this keeps up, I’ll have to ask someone to put a screen around the pipe on the roof so the bats can’t get in. I’m not surprised that they are drawn to it. I never use it and it’s a dark, safe place, except once you’re in you’re stuck. It’s not wide enough to allow for the bat to fly up and out, so into my living room it comes.




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