A Recovery Blog

This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness and addiction. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist and 12 Step ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.

Tuesday, April 14, 2026

First Contact With God The Mother and Father Great Spirit

There is a necessity for everyone to keep a daily audio journal, at least for 15 minutes a day, and listening back, preferably right after you make the recording.  Use the voice memo app on your phone - no one can listen to the recordings unless he or she knows your phone code. You can also buy a small inexpensive digital voice recorder and use the stored memory on it or get a micro sd card with 8 to 32 gigabytes. I use a digital recorder that I rarely take out of the house. You can put a lock or passcode to protect your privacy.

Keeping your journal is beginning the spiritual practice of absolute honesty with yourself before God The Mother and Father Great Spirit. Your honesty and vulnerability is your direct link to God. God can only communicate to you through that honesty and vulnerability, which is why you must dedicate yourselves to daily (and nightly if you can) practice.   

Because you're talking will be unplanned and free, God can inspire you to talk about things that you need to think about in order to heal your spirit and your bodies from addiction. This is why it is very important to quickly listen back to your recording to look for God's guidance and try to follow it. 

As addicts we are possessed by Extraterrestials who are children from other worlds in the universe whose homes and parents and families were destroyed by this addiction disease, they carried the disease here.

Whether you are a using or non-using addict you need natural healing medicine at least two times a day, more if you go into physical withdrawal. 


Healing Medicines and Practices:


Regardless of whether you are in withdrawal and reaching out to your Higher Power for direction and healing or caught in the cycle of addiction and despair, ALL of you must take at least 2 Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) "gummies" each day. They should have at least 64 mg of indica THC. One in the morning and one at night or 12 hours apart. If your withdrawal symptoms become really uncomfortable, take another gummie any time that happens again. 

3 Chi THC Gummie Provider 

Monthly supplies for one person, adult or child, from the 3 Chi online store:

Buy 3 bags (20 gummies each) of "Comfortably Numb" THC Indica. There are two types. Get the stronger type with 64 mg THC. The less strong one has half the THC and will NOT be effective.

Cost: $39.99 per bag/ approximately $120 per month

Canterra. co THC product online dispensary

You can order for delivery hash (a THC concentrate from marijuana that can be very effective treatment for withdrawal symptoms in addition to the gummies) and indica bud which is also helpful for withdrawal symptoms. I recommend Blond or Brown Hash, 1 gram Indica $45 - $49 THC 53 and NY Cheddar Indica Flower (Bud) a half ounce $118 - THC 35.64% which is about as high as you can go with Flower.



Smoking additive free pipe tobacco (6 oz and 16 oz) in addition to 64 mg indica gummies or in addition to smoking 28 - 34 mg THC indica marijuana bud is very healthy for all of us. Marijuana is a lung protectant, if you smoke it before you smoke cigarettes using only pipe tobacco, you will not get lung cancer, COPD or emphysema and there will be health benefits.

Pipes and Cigars online pipe tobacco suppliers

For one person I recommend one bag of Cherokee full strength red 16 ounces for about $14. It should last you for over a month. I also recommend that you buy cartons of filters tubes. I buy ZEN filter tubes, 250 tubes per carton, 5 cartons per order for $24 which should last you over a month. I buy them from Amazon. I have also bought a coffee bean kitchen grinder to grind the tobacco before sprinkling it into the cigarette tube. This makes it much easier to fill each tube. I have bought one made by a company called Wancle for $14.99 from Amazon.


Also, strong ground coffee, chocolate (Lindor/Lindt are great, especially an assorted bag, 15.2 ounces about $16.24 per bag from Wegmans or Amazon) and cranberry juice are all very healthy for you taken on a daily basis. Hot chocolate is also good for you.

Saturday, March 21, 2026

Telepathic and Empathetic Extra Terrestrials Are Real

 It's time to come out of our delusion that we humans are alone in the universe, that there are no other intelligent beings other than us in the universe. Some people on this planet know that so called "aliens" exist, but it is not openly acknowledged throughout the world. The beings connected to this world are empathetic and telepathic and have been here a very long time. They have telepathically communicated with some of us.  They have been telepathically connected with me since my mid twenties. I am now sixty three. They have also connected humans telepathically to each other. 

I have been told the story of these beings telepathically by humans who have been telepathically connected to them since they were adolescents. This is the story:

There are many intelligent beings from different worlds all over the universe. The beings here that I am most familiar with, though there are several, are the "aliens" with large eyes that have been part of popular culture as well as these smaller blue beings that arrived here pretty soon after them on earth. These beings came from very far away. They each had a home world. A horrific disease that was unleashed from another universe came to their worlds and infected them. The disease was an addiction disease. The parents of these beings became so sick that they destroyed their own worlds and themselves, but some of the children survived but were imprisoned in a kind of hell for a very, very, very long time.  These children were empathic and telepathic and so the experience was absolute torture for them. 

After a long time the disease began to disintegrate and they escaped their hellish existence. These beings live a very long time compared to us. They were very young. The big eyed beings were female and about five years old. The blue beings were male and even younger, about two years old. The big eyed girls left and went searching for intelligent life on other planets. They found intelligent life on several different worlds but were carrying the disease and spread it and kept searching. They found earth and were very drawn to the intelligence and sexuality of the apes. They were not sexual themselves, but were empathetic and quickly became addicted to the apes sexuality. 

These young beings were technologically advanced and had powers despite their young age, but because they were infected with the addiction disease they were addicts and powerless over their addiction. The apes were also empathic and peaceful and healthy, but these young beings wanted them to be more sexual and aggressive. They altered the males by putting the hormone testosterone into them, which made them physically bigger, stronger, more sexual and more aggressive and they put the hormone estrogen into the females which made them more sexual. They did this with a lot of the life on this planet, especially some mammals.

They created an evolutionary path for the apes and the apes evolved into different directions particularly the Neanderthals and the Homo Sapiens. The Neanderthals were less aggressive and sexual and eventually they became extinct while the Homo Sapiens thrived. Because the Homo Sapien males were bigger, stronger, more sexual and more aggressive cultures became male dominated societies all over the planet with females being subjugated and exploited even to this day along with a whole history of violence and wars again to this day.

Because of these beings, so powerless over their addiction to us, we have become a planet of addicts. Of all the addictions out there, and there are many, the most damaging addiction is the addiction to sex. Sex addiction is all over the planet. The end result of sexual addiction is the combination of sex and violence. The ultimate target and victim of sexual addiction and violence are children. Sex with children, also called pedophilia, is running rampart throughout our world. The ultimate high for these addicted beings who have made us into addicts is for male sex addicts to have an orgasm while raping and then killing children and it happens more to little girls than little boys. This doesn't mean that women are free of this. They, too, are raping and severely abusing boys and girls.

There has been generational pedophilia all over the communities where I live. In addition to that there has been an incredibly widespread pedophilic sex cult that began in 1968 in Huntington Beach California originally called The Children Of God but now called The Family. They have many prison compounds around the world where the adults rape and abuse children, some of whom were born inside the compounds and have never been released.  The children are sexually abused from birth and soon become sex addicts themselves as well as alcoholics like the adults. There are many of these prison compounds all over the area that I live in.

The adults in these compounds are literally possessed by these beings. Just as these beings are powerless over their addiction, these adults are also powerless. A couple of thousand years ago some of these beings left and found a way back to God, the Mother and Father Great Spirit and they were healed. After they were healed of the addiction disease they returned to earth to help heal their brothers and sisters and us of our addiction disease. 

When I was 36 years old, I went into psychosis and was given the diagnosis of schizophrenia and depression.  I was acutely ill for the first three years. Early on in the first year I had a breakdown. One day I was sitting on the floor in front of my couch and it felt as if there were very tall beings surrounding me. They told me I was a holy woman and then they told me I was a reincarnation of Jesus. It has taken me twenty seven years to come to accept that this is the truth. I have only been awake to this in the last month and a half. The people who have been telepathically connected to me have said that I was also Buddha. They say that I do not come from the apes as all the human beings on this planet do, but that I come from Mother and Father Great Spirit and came here soon after the healed beings came back to help heal this world and the addicted beings. 

The healing began with me as Buddha. I became enlightened and formed the religion of Buddhism. The core belief of Buddhism is that all beings should work to be compassionate towards all living beings, no exceptions. Five hundred years later I was Jesus, but my name was not Jesus, it was Emmanuel and the most important commandment I taught was to love your enemies, which means, love everyone. I was spreading the news in Palestine that God the Father was a god of unconditional love and not a god of judgment and that we should all work to love one another. That was the message my Mother and Father Great Spirit wanted me to send out.

There was a critical turning point in the 1930s. A man by the name of Bill Wilson had a spiritual awakening, a blessing from God the Mother and Father Great Spirit. He was liberated from his addiction to alcohol and with help created the Twelve Steps of a new group called Alcoholics Anonymous. In about ninety years the Twelve Steps have been applied to every type of addiction out there and there are meetings in most countries all over the world. Entering into recovery from all of our addictions through the Twelve Steps and Twelve Step meetings and fellowship will be what heals our world and what leads the beings who are so powerless over their addictions to us into recovery too.




















Monday, March 16, 2026

Help For Pedophiles Who Want To Go Into Recovery

It is my understanding that sex addiction including pedophilia is widespread in the United States and around the world. In my community there has been generational pedophilia in families. I have recently found out that there are cultic communities in this area, a cult formerly called Children Of God, a sex cult. I have been in touch with some people from these communities and they are suffering so much and want to go into addiction recovery through 12 Step groups. There are three excellent 12 Step groups to turn to for support:


Sex Addicts Anonymous 

Fellow Travelers  (a special group from SAA for Minor Attracted Persons (MAPS) There is a new book out by one of the groups members called A Map for MAPS that you can buy on Amazon.com or get as a Kindle e-book)

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Sexaholics Anonymous 

These sites will link you up to all kinds of resources, especially 12 Step meetings, face to face, phone and zoom meetings. In their stores you can buy their main texts and stories, daily readers, audio downloads, meeting cds, booklets and pamphlets including new meeting starter packages to begin your own meetings.

I have an Apple iPhone and I use a great app called Alcoholics Anonymous Companion which has over 1,000 recorded meetings for all types of 12 Step groups including SAA, SLAA and SA. I am positive that you can find apps on whatever cell phone you have for recorded 12 meetings. It is really worth it to get one of those apps to listen to.

I found a great book called From Generation To Generation: Understanding Sexual Attraction To Children by a woman who had been molested by her father and wanted to understand him better and people like him who were pedophiles. Her name is Anne Stirling Hastings, PhD. The book came out in 1994. There aren't a lot of copies of it. I think there might be two left on Amazon used, but you might be able to find it at other used book sites. It is worth looking for.