Reaching Out To Christians

First of all, I hope everyone is in a good place in this moment. Second, it is totally fine if you totally reject my belief in who I once was. That is not the point and who I am is not that important. What is important is that people from around the world consider what I am saying, creating a new perspective on the man Jesus and his spiritual orientation that connects him to the wisdom of the Buddha, both believing in peace and love as a spiritual practice all people must take on in whatever orientation you have as long as you believe that your idea of a Higher Power is based on Love, Health, Peace, Healing and Sanity.

Today I subscribed to a Christian pastor and writer’s YouTube channel. Many followers, many videos, a great deal on the Old Testament in many videos. I scanned the  videos looking for ones focusing on Jesus and some of his message but there were not many which I found surprising. I did find one video where the pastor was answering the question: Is Love A Feeling Or A Choice? I wound up leaving a long comment on my perspective on Jesus. I read it into my digital voice recorder and transferred the audio file to a new and wonderful app called SpeakNotes that can transcribe audio into words very quickly and mostly accurately. It also has a multi functioning AI program. It can actually create a blog from one’s transcript which often is really well done but unfortunately inaccurate and can be misleading. It can also make summaries and notes, some of which are quite good and even help me to learn about my subjects. It is also a global app and can translate a lot of different languages. I highly recommend it .

Below is my edited transcription of my comment on the Christian YouTube channel and video. After the transcription I have included the AI summary note which is quite accurate and I hope helpful to any of you out there.

Good Luck! And however you believe in Higher Power, God Bless you all.

Peace!

*************************************************************************************

Hello David, I just subscribed to this channel and I’m starting to explore it. I follow Jesus and I follow Buddha before him, both amazing teachers of Love and the spiritual practice of Love. To me the most important thing Jesus said, and I believe commanded, Love your enemies, which essentially means Love (agape) everyone, no exceptions, and totally follows Buddhist teachings about loving, compassion, for everyone, as a spiritual practice that requires discipline beginning with loving those who are easier to love, then people you like, then people you feel neutral about, then people you dislike, and ultimately people you hate, basically transforming the practice of prejudice and hatred in the world into a worldwide practice of Love.

Jesus, as a Jewish man  during the Roman rule, did, I believe, start out practicing the two commandments from the Torah (Old Testament) but through his deep faith in God the Father as a God of total Love for everyone modified the second Jewish commandment and greatly expanded it from loving those who are easier to love (neighbors) to loving everyone, with no exceptions. That was his main commandment that most Christians do not follow. They follow more of the Old Testament commandments. Some try to expand the idea of who to consider as “neighbors”, but that is not good enough. It wasn't good enough during Jesus' life, and it is still not good enough. Matthew 5:46 “For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?” Matthew 5:47 “And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others?” Basically saying, be like God and love everyone.

Yes it is hard and requires discipline and daily practice, but Jesus never said spiritual devotion would be easy. He sacrificed his life in the name of peace and love. And called all people to be that devoted to peace all over the world. Which is desperately needed now during this age of climate change, which we as a human species have brought on since the Industrial Revolution through our collective illnesses. I do not believe in the human idea of “chosen people”, which still causes incredible conflict, war, destruction, and devastation, and has nothing to do with the practice of loving your enemies, everyone. I believe that God is the same God for all people on this planet, however they interpret it.

The main point from Jesus is to believe that God is a God of Love. He rejected the Old Testament God of love and hate, judgment/punishment/prejudice, “chosen people” and embraced God as totally loving of all the sick people on this planet. Jesus, like Buddha, was one of the most famous promoters of pacifism. If people had followed his main commandment that we love each other the world would most likely be embracing peace with no tolerance for war of any sort for any reason. Violence, prejudice, judgment is all from human mental illness and not from the Higher Power and Jesus saw that so clearly and tried to teach about it, but his message was distorted, taking the focus off total love of ourselves, each other and God. It is very distressing to me that Jesus’ main message, teaching, commandment has been ignored all these centuries. Most Christians do not follow Jesus and his message of practicing love for all people and God, for peace on earth as the main focus and spiritual practice for all the people on the planet, regardless of which religion or orientation, as long as the core of their belief is focused on Love.

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

AI generated Note summing up my transcript with the SpeakNotes App for transcribing audio files.

The Radical Commandment Of Universal Love

The central message of Jesus, much like the teachings of the Buddha, centers on the spiritual discipline of universal love and compassion. This practice is not passive; it is a rigorous progression that begins with those easiest to love and eventually extends to neutrals, enemies, and those we find most difficult. By interpreting 'Agape' as a command to love everyone without exception, we move beyond the limited 'neighbor' concept found in traditional interpretations. This radical inclusivity seeks to transform the human tendency toward prejudice into a global practice of compassion.

Historically, Jesus' message expanded upon the Torah by removing the boundaries of tribalism and 'chosen people' narratives, which often lead to conflict and devastation. The speaker argues that many modern religious practices have distorted this message, reverting to judgment and exclusion rather than the total pacifism Jesus exemplified. Embracing God as a source of absolute love—rather than a deity of punishment or preference—is presented as the necessary cure for the mental and spiritual illnesses that lead to human suffering and environmental destruction. In an age of global instability, returning to this core commitment of love for all people, regardless of creed or orientation, is viewed as the only path toward true peace on earth.

Key Points:

- Practice love as a progressive discipline, moving from friends and neutrals to enemies and those who evoke hatred.

- Recognize Jesus' commandment to 'love your enemies' as a radical expansion of the law, demanding love for all humanity without exception.

- Reject the 'chosen people' narrative in favor of a universal God who loves all people equally, which serves as an antidote to war and religious conflict.

- Adopt pacifism and total compassion as the primary spiritual practice to combat global human-driven crises like climate change.

- Differentiate between the human tendency toward prejudice and the 'Higher Power's' nature of unconditional love.

- Acknowledge that true spiritual devotion requires the hard work of daily practice, rather than simple adherence to exclusionary traditions.

New YouTube Channel - Jesus Calling - Wanderer 62

 Just a heads up. I just created a YouTube Channel called - Jesus Calling - Wanderer62

If you want to hear my audio easily just go to that channel. Subscribe if you’re willing. Wishing the whole world all the best.

Jesus Calling Out To The World

Hello Everyone, I hope you are all doing well all over the world.

Yesterday I was guided to change my direction and take on my calling in life that I have been in training for all of my life.  Higher Power, which I believe is the Higher Power for all people on this planet, however you want to define it, as long as Higher Power means to all of you, Love.  Total Love with no sickness. Completely healthy and balanced.  

Yesterday I made a recording to send to a man I've know on and off over the years. He, too, has experienced psychosis and addiction. He, too, quickly turned to a spiritual path - first with Christianity, then Buddhism, the Taoism and now back to Christianity. Unfortunately, he believes, as so many human beings do, that there exists Satan/Devil and evil spirits and evil people. I was lonely and I was hoping we could become friends and yet I truly believe that this orientation is severe mental illness that has infected our world for a very long time. Initially I said to him that we could "agree to disagree", but I soon realized that way of dealing with mental illness on this planet was false and not what I have been called to do by Higher Power. This was my response which I sent to him in an audio file. He wrote back and said he stopped listening after 2 minutes and directed me to look at a passage in the Gospel of Mark about demon possession. He believes I am possessed by "Satan" and did not even consider my message of Love and Responsibility. And so, I let him go and wish for him healing. 

************************************************************************************

Hi Eric. I'm afraid I was wrong. I can't agree to disagree. That's not why I'm here. I'm not supposed to be accommodating to people's illnesses. I'm here to send out a call for people to wake up and turn towards God, which is just love, basically love. Everybody love everybody. That's it. Love your enemies. That's the message. That was the message then. That's the message now. People don't want to deal with it. You don't want to deal with it. And also, I think you're using this idea of Satan as a scapegoat and not dealing with your own issues. And a lot of people do that. They don’t want to deal with it; they don't want to seek truth. And I do. I've always been a seeker of the truth because to me that's God. The truth is beautiful. It's sane and honest and loving and good and that's God. Associating God with judgment and violence and picking people out as “chosen people” that is human sickness. There are no chosen people. We are all chosen and we are all supposed to love each other and we are all supposed to look at God as love, however we interpret it, it doesn’t matter. So, you know, I'm saying you're called. You can ignore the call. I hope you don't. But I can't be your friend and compromise my integrity and my destiny. You know? I'm no God with special powers. And I'm supposed to be a communicator, and I'm supposed to start waking people up. We just don't have enough time to fool around.

In about five years, the oceans might rise all over the world, flooding the coastlines. And that means Daytona Beach and that means Long Island where my friend Bella lives. That means a super big change. So it’s time to wake up and start taking on the responsibility towards each other, God and the planet and stop fucking around and saying that our mental illness is health or truth or God. It is not. We are all sick. You are sick. I am sick. I'm not as sick, though. And that is one reason why I am realizing that I cannot have, like, a friend or a partner or whatever, a close circle. Because everybody is too sick. And I would be jeopardizing my mission, if you like, to try to help people move towards health. I know how to move towards health. I know how to guide people. But the actual process of doing it is in the people. It's not a Messiah in the sky, a God with big powers. No, the Messiah has to be in the people, all of us on the planet. So this is a call, you know. To those of you who have ears, hear me. I guess a lot of people didn't, but they have to now, and I think a lot of people are ready now to do it. And I've been guided to say that we will make it. There will be enough people who will turn around and turn towards God as love and loving everybody as equals with respect and kindness and also with not being tolerant of sickness, mental illness.

So I will be out there. I have to work on the blog and on SoundCloud. I will I'll probably wind up on YouTube at some point and I'll also be on Facebook working with some people on Facebook and, you know, I don't know, if you have a change of heart somehow or are redirected, I hope, towards your path, towards truth and doing what you're called to do, your destiny, to take part in healing the world, you can find me on Facebook. And if you want to ask me to be a friend on Facebook, I will say yes. Otherwise, I'm not hanging with you. And I want you to heal and I’m sorry you’re sick and going in a bad direction. You do have a lot of talent, and you are on a spiritual quest. We all are. All of our lives are spiritual journeys. We're all sacred. Nobody's evil. Bad. It isn't good guys and bad guys. It's human sick people on the planet who need to heal and take on responsibility and stop being irresponsible and hurting themselves and each other. 

You can't do that through divisions and judgments. We're all chosen. There is no chosen people and we all have to do our part as best we can and we're all being called and now is the time. So yes, I was Jesus. I'm supposed to start telling people that and you're the first one. I have to wake up and take it on. I've had enough time. I've been without the voices for about half a year. I mean, most of them. And the voices that are left are actually good voices because they're humble and kind and I love them and I love God and I see God as Great Spirit, Mother and Father, holy parents. You don't have to believe that way, believe whatever you like, just believe that God, Higher Power, is love. There is no place for judgment, hell, Satan, evil, you know, I'm better than you are, war. That’s all totally mental illness. And yes, it is in the Holy Bible because the Holy Bible was written by men. And I'm sure if women participated, they would also, you know, be sick.

Luckily, some of, I think, what I said did get through. Enough. I mean, people are crazy when they say, make rationalizations for, what love your enemies means. That’s  ridiculous! Of course it means love everybody, no exceptions.

Did I know I was going to die on the cross? Yes. Yes, I  wanted to die on the cross. Why? Not to save everybody from their sins. To experience all those poor people hanging from the fucking cross in plain sight. I wanted to experience what they were going through. It was important that I did. Because they were the ones who were suffering the most. And I did identify with them. And it was absolutely horrible to see public crucifixions. It was absolutely horrifying.

There's no exceptions. No exceptions for violence. People don't think about it, you know. “We're defending our freedom!” You're defending your freedom while you're bombing the shit out of little villages with children and old people and women and men and homes and body parts and landmines. It's just so sick. You really think about it. It's totally sick. And it has to stop. And don't blame it on Satan and don't call people evil! People are not evil!  They are beautiful.  We are all beautiful, we are just very sick, but we can heal when God wants us to heal and God will help us to heal, but we have to answer the call and not keep hiding away. 

And I spent all these years mostly in isolation because I had to. I couldn't go out to work and be influenced by other religions and everything. I had to be distant from so much conditioning that everybody else has to deal with. And I will have to stay that way on a certain level. And I just have to come to terms with that. I do have my connection to God, Great Spirit, Holy Spirit, Father, Mother and that's all I really need. And I will be fine, and I'm so grateful to do what I can. But, you know, the Messiah has to be in the people, each one of us, not some god figure. I was not God. A human being, just like Buddha. That was sort of the point. To see how horrible we are to ourselves. But also to stand up, be willing to sacrifice your life for peace.

Anyway, Eric, I'm sorry. I am human too, and I get lonely. And I guess I thought, you know, you'd be a friend. But you really can't be. I don't think anybody really can. I mean, I love people, and I will talk to them and connect with them and all that kind of stuff as much as I can. But ultimately, I have to spend a lot of time alone with Higher Power and be guided, always by love and honesty and my responsibility to send out the message. And that’s what I am going to keep doing.  And I just started. And it does make sense that the first blog I posted on the SoundCloud site was “All Human Beings Are Mentally Ill” You are ill. Your mother is ill. Your father was ill. I am ill. Everybody's ill. The Dalai Lama, Pema Chodron, and Chogyam Trungpa. And Jesus. Oh my God. That's why it's taken over 2,000 years to get to this point because I think, at that point, I was partially divinely inspired and partially ill with the culture I was in. But it's changed. 

And it makes perfect sense that Jesus should come back as a woman. Over half the population is female. This planet has been patriarchal and it sucks! And it has to change. It's not about becoming matriarchal or a feminist planet. No, it's egalitarianism, equality. Respect each other. Love each other. Love each other’s differences you know, it’s about love..

I don’t know, I guess I’m going to be being a pain in the ass to people. I’ve already started doing that on Facebook. But I will be guided each day. I always ask for permission before I act. I will be guided by that, thank God. You have to ask yourself, do you believe God is love? Do you really? Do you really believe God is love? And yet says hell is okay, judgment is okay, divisions are okay, war is okay, torture is okay, stealing is okay, greed is okay, lust is okay? Shit. You have to check it out, Eric. I don't know. Is God love, I mean, totally love? There is no room for violence and cruelty.That’s the path. And Buddha  did  start  it. I mean he was blessed. He lived to be 80 and he did find out how to approach it at least. And Christians, oh my God, oh my God. What a mixed message! Horrible. And it's right out there in plain sight, love your enemies, love everybody. That was the commandment from Jesus that people ignored. And they still do. And they can't anymore. So I am pissed. But I'm going to keep going. So check me out if you want to, Eric. I wish you luck. I will love you and pray for you and your mother. I believe in you. You are a good man. You've been through a lot. You have a lot of talent. I know you have a lot to give to people. I hope you take up your calling, not your cross, your calling to promote love in the world, especially within yourself. And I know God, Great Spirit, Mother and Father, bless you.

************************************************************************************

Postscript: It doesn't matter to me in the least whether you believe or don't believe in my claim of who I once was. That is really not the point. But I believe that all of you around the world should listen to the message here about our collective mental illness and believe that all of our Higher Powers want to help us heal through Love.  Love of Higher Power, Love of ourselves and each other, Love of this amazingly gorgeous planet that we are raping. The message that we are all called right now to take up the daily, nightly spiritual practice of Love for everyone that Buddha sent out 2,500 years ago and Jesus tried to send out also 2,000 years ago. The whole New Testament can be summed up in one sentence from Jesus: Love Your Enemies. If any of you take up that practice, then you will be following "The Way" that Jesus was taught by God to teach. Only then will you be followers of Jesus and Buddha and God.

I strongly encourage any of you to listen to the audio of Jesus Calling on SoundCloud.com - Wanderer62.

You will probably need to sign up for a free account in order to listen. Good luck!

Jesus Calling

To Listen To My Audio Of This Blog It Is Strongly Recommended You Sign Up For A Free Account On SoundCloud

Hello Everyone. I hope you are all doing well.

Since I posted my last blog To The People Of Singapore, Hong Kong and Vietnam a little over a week ago, according to the stats 34 people have clicked on it. No one has listened to the audio recording on SoundCloud except for one person, one of my FaceBook friends, from my childhood. One of my other friends said they had trouble connecting. I realize that if you are interested in listening to the audio, particularly from this blog, that you should sign up for a free account on SoundCloud using your email or Google or Apple or Facebook account. To do that I suggest you go to the SoundCloud Homepage where you can register and then sign in and go to my account Wanderer62. Hopefully that will help, but it is all in English.

Stats for today: 843 views

Last 24 hours: US - 719, Brazil - 36, Bangladesh - 20, Vietnam - 15, Pakistan - 13, Argentina - 12, Singapore - 12.  Form there it goes on to different countries with lower views and no views from Hong Kong.

My impression is that the views from Singapore and Hong Kong have decreased while Vietnam has stayed steady as if the people from Singapore and Hong Kong are not comfortable with the attention I have drawn to them and their countries. I hope that changes over time as I continue to post.

I will probably post next over the weekend on my beginning study of Yin and Yang dating back to ancient Chinese culture. I discovered a very interesting author, two books and two audiobooks for those books, which I have downloaded. His name is Laing Matthews, he lives in Canada and is at least in part of Asian ancestry. He is a scholar and dedicated to the practice of Taoism, including the I Ching. I have put a link to his website on this blog and have posted the first book, which is "Vol. 0 - The Binary Code Of Heaven And Earth: A New Way To Read The I Ching" and will post the second book and audio books today. He is also a teacher and a healer and has written a great number of books on all kinds of Eastern practices which is quite amazing to me, but also a bit confusing and overwhelming, which is why my focus with him will be his orientation about the origins of Yin and Yang in ancient China before the creation of The Book of Changes (The I Ching) much later. 

To The People Of Singapore, Hong Kong And Vietnam

To The People Of Singapore, Hong Kong And Vietnam

I’m giving a warm welcome to the people of Singapore, Hong Kong and Vietnam. The reason for this is that though mostly I have not been writing here since 2018, sometime in the last year I went to my blog and checked the statistics and what I found shocked me and interested me at the same time. The statistics include all time stats for people who have at least clicked on my site, daily statistics, statistics for the day before, the month’s statistics and last month’s statistics. It also shows statistics for individual blogs. On the next page it shows in a graph statistics for eight lengths of time present, 24 hours, 7days, 30 days, 3 months, 6 months, 12 months and all time.  There are a few other statistics but one of the most interesting to me are the statistics of the last year and the top locations all over the world.

When I checked the all time statistics, there was a graph. It showed the views of the blog since the start of it in November 2006 to the present. From the beginning to about January 2023 it showed very few views, like one to three thousand a year. But at around February of 2023 the views shot up to 30,000, then down again and then shot up again to 40,000 in March 2025 and has been around 195,000 this year alone meaning that my all time view count of 603,000 has gotten that big only in the last few years.

What I then found when I checked the top locations all around the world (and I was shocked to see many countries were represented) that these were the top countries listed: United States - 164K, Singapore - 108K, Hong Kong - 40.9K, Brazil - 38.2K, Russia - 27.5K and Vietnam - 26.2K and there are other countries listed around the world in the thousands. The strong attention from Southeast Asia, mainly Singapore and Vietnam and from non Communist China Hong Kong grabbed my attention immediately.

And I wondered why are these Eastern countries so interested in my blog and why only within the last three years? My first response was that I was honored by their interest and had a strong desire to learn about their countries, their history, languages, religions, etc… But why? The first thing I thought was,, of course, the title of my blog - Yin And Yang which very much shows my respect for Chinese culture starting with my personal interest in the I Ching which has turned into a spiritual practice and orientation for me especially in the last few years.

Both Hong Kong and Singapore are mostly Chinese people and culture and the I Ching (though it should probably be written Yijing) is still important to a lot of Chinese people and may be true for the Vietnamese, though I am not sure. The concept of Yin and Yang dates back three thousand years to ancient China before the Book Of Changes (The Yijing) was created. The Yijing originated in China during the Zhou Dynasty around 1046-256 BCE growing out of weather observations and divination practices. It became a deep philosophical and cosmological text during the Warring States period between 500 and 200 BCE, particularly through the influence of a major historical Chinese figure, Confucius, before he died in about 479 BCE.

Right around the time of Confucius (551 BCE? - 479 BCE) there were two other major religious influences, one Chinese and one Indian - Lao Tzu (Western translation) and Buddha. Unlike Confucius, there is a lot of speculation about Lao Tzu even to the point of saying that he was a fictional character, but others say he was an elder contemporary of Confucius and that Confucius may have had contact with him. Lao Tzu is especially key to the beginning of Taoism because he supposedly wrote an amazing and very famous book now called the Tao Te Ching. The Taoists of today adopted the visual Yin/Yang symbol during the Song Dynasty, 11th century CE particularly through a Neo-Confucian philosopher named Zhou Dunyi. The Bagua (Yin/Yang symbol in the center and the eight trigrams in a circle around it) and its origins in the I Ching before the formation of Taoism was adopted by the Taoists in the Tang and Song dynasties - 7th - 13th Centuries CE. 

The Taoists today are strongly associated with the Yin/Yang symbol and I believe that they actually claim it as representing their religion/philosophy as well as being closely identified with the Yijing but truly the Yijing has very ancient roots and actually it was Confucius who was key in transforming the use of the Yijing from a mostly occult/divinatory practice to an actual philosophy, a manual for ethics and self improvement focusing on particularly three things - moral duty and virtue, the middle way of moderation and on order and harmony for creating an ethical, structured human society. And yet, there is much in the Yijing to connect it with Taoism, I think especially with the hexagram 25, Wu Wang, called Innocence, Without Entanglement, The  Unexpected/The Unintentional which I have associated with the Taoist practice of Wu Wei which is basically and way too simplified about living life by “going with the flow” rather than enforcing rules to follow.

The very interesting fact about the present day Yijing is this combination of Confucian philosophy with ultimately Taoist philosophy which in a lot of ways conflict and yet in the Yijing they seem to be amazingly complementary.

And finally the major influence of Siddhartha/Buddha (563 - 483 BCE) from India, a contemporary of Confucius, on Eastern cultures, particularly China, Japan and Southeast Asia. In fact, various forms of Buddhism became very popular and important to these countries much more than in India where it originated. And in the 5th to 6th century a major philosophy called The Three Teachings linked in China these three amazing spiritual teachers - Confucius, Lao Tzu and Buddha. 

The origins of Buddhism in China was called Chan and became Mahayana Zen Buddhism which spread I believe to Southeast Asia, today to Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia and Brunei and on the mainland only to Vietnam. Other Southeast Asian countries on the mainland practiced Theravada Buddhism which has a different orientation and practice. Anyway, those countries that practice Mahayana Zen Buddhism are definitely influenced by Taoism and also the Yijing, which might account for some of the people from Singapore, Hong Kong and Vietnam’s interest in my blog. 

I have also written about my understanding of Jesus and my belief that many modern Christians in effect do not follow Jesus because they do not follow his only commandment which was “Love your enemies” which in effect means love everyone which to my mind links him directly to Buddha and ultimately to pacifism throughout the world. People seem to believe that Jesus’ commandments were to love God and your neighbors, but that is just not true. That comes from the Old Testament and is Jewish, though I’m sure Jesus, who considered himself Jewish, followed those commandments but took the second commandment to love your neighbors so much farther and linked him with the wisdom that started in the East.

I noticed that there is definitely a 17- 25 % population in Hong Kong and Singapore of Christians and in Vietnam maybe 7-10 % population. Again, another link to my blog. Also the very strong influence of the British Empire on Hong Kong (the Opium Wars and 156 years of “governance”) and Singapore (from 1819 as a trading post for the British and then dominated by the British Empire in 1824 to about 1959, though Singapore became finally independent on August 9th 1965) as well as the American influence and violence in Vietnam during the Vietnamese War. And in Hong Kong, a very unusual place in Communist China, an exception, the influence of capitalism which also is accepted by the country of Singapore. 

In conclusion, these are some of my ideas about the interest from specifically Singapore, Hong Kong and Vietnam in my blog. But more than that maybe the interest in a Westerner, originally from New York City and now living six hours away in the country in New York State, who honors Eastern culture, religions and wisdom and spiritually follows the East rather than the West (who now sees the potential healing of the world beginning with the spiritual ideas of the East, starting with the ancient Chinese concept of Yin and Yang which I will continue to explore and study and write about) and also with Buddhism. I believe very deeply that the East and the West need to join together in friendship, respect and love to heal our world in this time of crisis especially with global climate change. This blog, which I feel spiritually guided to return to and to commit to, could be a start of that kind of connection, dispelling the ignorance of both sides about each other and teaching particularly Americans, who are my top readers, about the East and how important the East is and giving them much needed knowledge to end our ignorance of the East and increase our awareness because we ignore the East and are terribly ignorant.

Finally, though there has been a lot of interest in this blog for the last few years, absolutely no-one has commented. I am here to ask you strongly to please start commenting. I am one of those ignorant Westerners and I have been studying, but really, you (the people of the East) are the experts on your culture and history and I might quite possibly be mistaken or misleading about what I’ve learned. Please, be my teachers and teach my readers from all over the world. The special thing about you in Hong Kong and Singapore is that I believe you are fluent in English and English is the lingua franca for many countries whose original languages are not English, and therefore a means of world communication which is so important.

I understand you might be shy about commenting, but, to start, I ask you to start just posting where you are from and that’s it. Let me know who is paying attention to start. I am also hoping to attach a reaction feature to this blog like thumbs up or down soon. Again, please just leave your reaction when I add it to my blog to let me know that you are reading and interested and want me to continue. If you do not want to publicly comment, any of you are free to email me at my address: purewaterkwk@gmail.com any time. I would absolutely love to hear from any of you. My email address is also posted on this blog on the top right hand.

Anyway, regardless of what you decide, I am honored and grateful for your interest in my blog and I will continue to study all kinds of things Eastern and Western, maybe starting with the study of Yin and Yang starting with two Kindle e-books one called Yinyang: The Way Of Heaven and Earth in Chinese Thought and Culture by Robin R. Wang (2012) and a book called BAGUA: The Eight Trigrams Explained for the Modern Reader: Understanding the Eight Trigrams, I Ching and Taoist Philosophy by John Bodhi Ponchet (2026).

Take Care,

Kate 

In audio on SoundCloud - Wanderer62 - www.soundcloud/wanderer62

In print on Blogger Yin And Yang blog by Wanderer - www.blogspot.com.wanderer62

 

Link To My First Audio Recording Reading A Blog Called “All Human Beings Are Mentally Ill”

 SoundCloud Wanderer62

One Of My New Kittens - Pema

My new kitten Pema named after Pema Chodron the Tibetan Buddhist Nun I follow.

 

Update After Over A Month's Absence

Hello Everyone, I hope you all have been well. It’s been over a month since I last wrote and a lot has changed for me. About a month ago almost all of my voices have gone after being with them for 27 years since I was 36 years old. There are a few, but very few and they say some supportive things and then are quiet, so 98% of the time it is quiet in my mind. I have not been taking the anti-psychotic medications except for a few days a while ago and intend not to take them for now.  

I do still talk to myself and record it and listen back, more than before because I spend most of my time alone and it helps me to feel less isolated, closer to myself and Higher Power. I still wanted to adopt some animals for more company and connection to my heart. While I was in psychosis I was going to adopt two kittens and two puppies, Huskies. When I came out of the psychosis I knew I couldn’t take care of puppies, especially puppies that would get big. I had thought I would be living with people who knew about dogs, but that was just delusion. Cats, on the other hand, I had lived with all my life and I had raised quite a few kittens, so I settled on adopting four kittens. 

It took a little while but I picked out four from the Humane Society nearby, contacted my vet and got three friends to give recommendations and I have had them with me for over three weeks and they are wonderful and are getting along with my two older cats. Today a friend from town came over and started putting together a cat house I bought on Amazon. It’s going to be five feet tall with about three levels with different places to hang out and a scratching post. It also will be on wheels and a cool thing about it is that I can roll it outside the back of my house with them closed inside it for them to enjoy the outside when they are ready because they are indoor cats. Some people set it up to be connected to a window so they can go out, so to speak, and in at will, but I don’t have any windows I can do that with.  

But after the voices stopped and before I got the kittens my home was a filthy, cluttered mess, which during most of the years of my illness it has been to my great shame. I knew it was not fit for the kittens, so I decided to hire some junk removal people to come and clear out some of the main space where we would be living. I worked really hard for a week to gather up all the stuff I wanted thrown away including a kitchen table, two large chairs and a chest of drawers. I also went through my entire kitchen removing things I didn’t want and putting away things I did want. My refrigerator and stove hadn’t been working for years though I did have a refrigerator downstairs and used a hot plate and a large toaster oven upstairs, so I bought a new refrigerator and stove and the day the junk was removed from my house they delivered the appliances and the kitchen has been great to work and cook in ever since.  

The main areas that we live in are the kitchen, dining room and living room which are all open, no doors and now it is so very nice here and I am taking care of myself, them and my living space in a way that I was not able to when I had voices. I am so blessed. 

While I was in the psychotic state I became physically ill with two things, a persistent stomach ache and hot flashes. I think I have figured out why this has been. I had been smoking marijuana with high concentrations of THC which I had not been doing all the years that I smoked marijuana and I saw in the news that there was some kind of syndrome that people who smoked high concentrations of marijuana daily were developing  - stomach pain, nausea and vomiting. I did not have nausea thank goodness but I decided to stop smoking marijuana for at least a month and it has almost been a month and my stomach feels much better. I intend to try smoking it again at the THC level I was smoking all these years without problems next week. I will test it out and see. The voices said that marijuana was a lung protectant for people who smoke and I smoke a lot. I had a lung scan done last year and my lungs were fine after decades of smoking cigarettes and marijuana, so just in case it is true, I will smoke unless I develop symptoms again. 

The hot flashes I found out through online research have been because I stopped taking my anti-depressants suddenly after taking them consistently at 40 mg for 27 years, since the beginning of my psychosis. Luckily I had plenty of the medication and I have been back on it for about two weeks and the hot flashes seem to be lessening but it might take a little longer for my body to adjust.  

Anyway that’s my update for now. I plan to try to write a couple of times a week and maybe include an audio link to a site called SoundCloud where I might try talking for five to ten minutes per blog. I’m not sure yet.  

Stay well.  

Out Of Denial

In the last week or so most of the voices have gone and I have been waking up to the fact that I have been in a  psychotic state for the last two to three months, sometimes manic. The stories I've been told through these voices have been extreme and very disturbing but I have never gotten confirmation from anyone. This has been how it has been off and on for many years. But the theme of the prevalence of addiction I do believe and I do strongly believe that anyone suffering from any kind of addiction needs to reach out for help and change their lives into a spiritual path of recovery. I have met people who have done just that.

The blogs I've written since March mostly give good advice, some direction, something to work with. I do really believe that THC treatment is good for many illnesses including addiction and addiction recovery and I still recommend it, but you must decide for yourself. I do not believe trying would be harmful. Whether THC treatment is a lung protectant or whether additive free pipe tobacco combined with it is somehow even healthy I don't know. The answers about it were very vague. In my personal experience I have smoked marijuana and cigarettes for over thirty years. I had a lung scan done last spring and nothing showed up, but that's not much in the way of proof. 

I still believe that a vegan diet is the healthiest diet out there for many reasons and there is a lot to support this from some doctors. There are videos, books, cookbooks that all point to the diets quick healthy response to being on just a vegan diet for even a month. I tried it twice with incredibly positive results for my diabetes. What I didn't say about it and should have is that I was on a couple on diabetes medications while on the diet and I'm sure that contributed to my good results.

My suggestion of keeping an audiojournal I totally stand by. It has kept me grounded in reality and close to myself and my Higher Power for many years. It's the fastest way to cut through feelings of isolation and get in touch with one's feelings and stop all this hurtful repression. 

But the core of going into deeper recovery is really by going to meetings and bonding with the fellowship and hopefully starting new meetings either in your homes or at some rented space. 

I recognize now that what I was doing offering for people to live with me in recovery and even going so far as to considering buying a cheap house as a recovery place was really my own codependency addiction. One definition of codependency is doing for others what they can do for themselves. Of course, my intentions were good, but it was still sickness on my part.

I have not been taking my anti-psychotic drugs lately and it shocks now, after years of being faithful to taking my medications how easily I stepped away. I return to taking them tonight and I'm also going to try to take a couple of supplements that might put me in a stronger recovery from my mental illness.

About my orientation of the Higher Power as Mother and Father Great Spirit is just something that fits with me and I am going to keep that orientation. We all have to find our way towards a belief in a totally loving Higher Power, whatever that turns out to be. 

Whether there is rampant sexual addiction to children in this area or around the world I do not know, but if there's any chance of it's truth I am very glad that I posted about Sex Addicts Anonymous' separate group called Fellow Travelers who call themselves Minor Attracted Persons. They have at least one meeting a day and there's also a relatively new book out called A Map For Maps that can be bought on Amazon.

And so for me it is back to one day at a time and working on my recovery mainly from mental illness each day and night. Back to medications with the addition of testing out some supplements, continuing with a vegan diet. I have wanted to get healthy for over thirty years now. In some ways I have succeeded and learned and created many things.

So, as the slogan goes "Keep it Simple" The person I thought I was connected to since 1998 when I went into psychosis is no longer in my mind and most of the voices are gone. What I need to do is get my whole house in order, eat healthily, exercise, continue with my 12 Step study and Tibetan Buddhist study, make the repairs needed on the house, cultivate deeper friendships with a group of people I stay in touch with from town as well as a childhood friend living in New York City, return to my art practice with songwriting and learning instruments, visual arts and poetry. And to bring more joy and companionship into my home I am going to adopt some kittens, hopefully in two weeks after I have some young men who remove "junk" from my house probably next week.

I'm going to continue writing in this blog about whatever interests me and whatever might be of benefit to others. This has not been a psychotic break - no paranoia or attacking delusions. I have actually enjoyed some of the study and teaching, but I'm glad it's over and I can return to reality and a simple, healthier life.

People have been looking at these blogs according to my stats, so if any of this has been true, I wish you all health, happiness and recovery. Don't give up. Have faith in a loving Higher Power. Stay honest with yourself, a friend to yourself and honest with those you connect with in groups. Recovery is possible, but you have to work it. It is a daily/nightly spiritual practice that will bring you closer to recovery and joy.

Good Luck! And thank you for being patient with me as I went through my process.

 

Change Of Plans

A group of six young people would rather live with me and go through withdrawal from their addictions instead of me possibly buying a house. So instead of putting money into a house, I'm going to put some money into my house. I have a two story house and the downstairs is mostly a separate apartment. I will have to invest in an oven and a clothes dryer. By the end of next week I'm hoping to have a whole bunch of stuff removed and will clear out the garage and use it as a living space. I will get two bunk beds, one for downstairs and one for upstairs. For the most part the house is in good condition with heat, electricity, 2 bathrooms. I have plenty of THC treatment along with additive free pipe tobacco. Easy access to getting food from the Instacart app using Wegmans and getting it delivered here. I'm hoping we will get into cooking vegan recipes. 

If this happens and the young people contact me and move in and we have some success over the next couple of months, I will consider buying and installing a good storage house hopefully with access to electricity. This space could be used not only for storage, but as another meeting space for 12 Step groups. I would also like us to be creative and do craftwork and hopefully tie dyes and we could set up a space in the storage house to offer what we make for a donation once a week and see where that goes.

So this will be my work for the next couple of weeks and I am praying that the young people will contact me in that time, preferably coming to visit me and talk together and show them the house.   

I Saw The House Yesterday

I went to check out the house I'm interested in with the realtor. She gave some basic information, but had never been to the house before. The house looked pretty good inside and out, but there was some leaking from the roof, though the floor and wall damage was not very bad. The realtor said she thought I would need to put on a new roof. She also saw some damage to a corner of the foundation in the basement. The utilities were not on. I've asked the realtor to see if she can get them turned on so I can get someone I've used before to give the house a thorough check and then get back to me. 

If the utilities do come on and all the systems are in good shape, I believe I will purchase the house and put an efficient, but lower cost steel metal roof on it. I can afford that. 

And so, I will have to wait until next week when hopefully the house will be checked out.