A Recovery Blog

This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Daily Appointment

Well, this will be a short entry. Today I actually went out of the house. I saw my therapist and then stopped over at my brother's house. The temperature got up to the low 50's and there was even some sun. Very reassuring. I talked to J., my therapist, for 50 minutes. I hadn't seen her for about three weeks and told her how I had been struggling with depression but that writing daily in this blog had really begun to lift my spirits. What a wonderful turn of events. For some reason, making a daily appointment with myself to write for two to three hours in this blog most days has motivated me to actually do it, that and, of course, having you as readers. I really thank you for taking the time to read some of my entries. The possibilities for communication due to the internet is kind of thrilling especially for someone like me who is so reclusive. Till now, my writing has been a solitary affair. Just me writing to myself. Now, a few other people actually read my thoughts from time to time.

I know it's tentative, but there's a beginning of a sense of community, a sense I haven't had most of my life. No circle of friends, no co-workers, no church goers (or synagogue, temple or mosque). I've spent the last 12 years (for the most part) alone. But here, I can try to share myself in a way I'm not yet able to do in the "real" world. And honesty is a focal point. If I can just stay true to my wish to be honest with myself and others, I feel I will continue to learn and find vitality in even the mundane.

Today I meant to write about the Supreme Court decision to ban certain abortion procedures. I read two articles in the New York Times and did a little research on my computer encyclopedia. Abortion is a tough issue and I didn't have it in me today to discuss it. Guess, I just wanted a little time to think about it before I present my perspective. So that will be for tomorrow's (well, today's...) daily appointment.

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