A Recovery Blog

This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.

Friday, July 3, 2009

House Cleaning

I began house cleaning yesterday and continued with it today and am praying that I keep cleaning throughout the next two weeks. What has given me the motivation to clean is the fact that I can't keep the kittens in the bathroom much longer, so I started working on one of my bedrooms and then on the other. I'm hoping I'll be able to move the kittens into a kitten proof room in a couple of days and then keep working on the rest of the house after that. I have prayed for help and I have been getting it. It will be a lot of work, but it will be wonderful to finally face the mess and clutter. I have two carpet cleaner machines, one for general cleaning and one for deep cleaning, but first I am going through my stuff and throwing things away and clearing up room. I've told Richard that I want to keep the cats downstairs, or at least the kittens, when the work is done down there. I will have linoleum put on the floors for easy clean-up. I will have the outdoor enclosure rebuilt and a cat door installed so the cats can go out and come in whenever they want.

I take the cats and kittens to the vet on Tuesday. The cats will get their shots and I will make an appointment for them both to be castrated. The kittens are doing well and I've been doing a good job of taking care of them. It will be great when I can let them loose in a decent sized room. They have so much energy. Today while I sat and watched over them, I listened to a tape by Thich Nhat Hanh called Living Buddha, Living Christ. On the tape they sound a meditation bell at different intervals and it startles the kittens, but they listen. I was thinking that these kittens are my teachers and so I watch them and listen to them and touch them gently and talk to them. With their tiny claws they climb up my back and with their tiny teeth they chew my finger tips, but mostly they wrestle with each other and run around and play. They are Buddha nature: genuine, open, playful, responsive. My motherly instincts have taught me how to handle them, with attention and respect. And in taking care of them, I'm learning how to take care of myself and my other cats.
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