A Recovery Blog

This blog is about my continuing recovery from severe mental illness. I celebrate this recovery by continuing to write, by sharing my music and artwork and by exploring Buddhist ideas and concepts. I claim that the yin/yang symbol is representative of all of us because I have found that even in the midst of acute psychosis there is still sense, method and even a kind of balance. We are more resilient than we think. We can cross beyond the edge of the sane world and return to tell the tale. A deeper kind of balance takes hold when we get honest, when we reach out for help, when we tell our stories.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Preparing To Quit Smoking...Again

My quit date as of today is next Saturday, January 2nd.  I chose that day in honor of my mother who died January 2nd, 2014.  She quit smoking around the time I was born when she was 34 and lived to be 85.  I quit in 2007 and stayed quit for about 3 years.  If I could do it then, I can do it now.  I'm going to have to coach myself for the next 6 days.  I'm not very confident today, but I'm going in the right direction.  I will use the e-cigs.  I'm getting a quitting smoking book to guide me.  I'm looking around for online support since there are no face to face meetings in my area.  I think it's important to take the One Day At A Time approach.

Though I have been smoking over a pack for several years, I may not be as physically addicted to nicotine as some.  I know I can go 5 hours without a cigarette and be okay.  Mostly I smoke at home, which is where I spend a lot of my time.  This means I need to change where I sit.  I have established a pattern of sitting in front of a window in  my dining room area.  Luckily I have a drawing table in my living room that I can sit at instead when I stop smoking cigarettes.  No window, but a comfortable spot.

I think it will be a relief when I gather up all my smoking supplies on the first of the year so that I can remove them from this house on the second.  It will take so much pressure off me if I have no temptations nearby.  I will have to find other ways to work through my compulsive nature.  I practice gratitude each day, but I will have to step that up and focus on all that is good in my life.  This is a golden opportunity for me because though I have a bad smokers' cough that comes and goes, I am still relatively healthy.  This could be a turning point for me towards living a healthy life.  I pray to the higher power for help in committing to this.

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